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Allow yourself to be vulnerable; it's essential for personal growth

Vulnerability can be risky

Being vulnerable can be risky and most of us don't allow anyone, even ourselves to show that side of us. It means you have to reveal yourself almost 'warts and all', your deepest fears and emotions. It requires total honesty.

There are many cultural and societal reasons why people find it difficult to show vulnerability; it may be perceived as weakness, a lack of courage and even fragility. But it could also be due to our fear - fear of what we may discover if we let our guard drop.

Lessons learned from my own experience

One of the biggest lessons I learned from my various illnesses (triple heart attacks, etc) was that healing and recovery can only occur once you show vulnerability. I refused to accept that I needed to change post heart attacks and needed help to recover. Frankly, I was scared of the unknown and of change. I thought I could do it all on my own. " I know best" syndrome! I carried on living my life as though nothing changed. It was a facade.

However, being vulnerable means no more ducking, pretending everything is ok and carrying on as before. That pretence blocked my recovery; it took me years to realize that! But once I was willing to accept & reveal my vulnerability to myself, my recovery was much easier both mentally & physically.

Admitting your vulnerability is cathartic - you face your fears, release your tensions - it gives you control again, and freedom brings you peace and helps you heal!

Vulnerability is a journey, not a statement

You can't wake up one day and decide "I want to be vulnerable and show my vulnerable side!" Being at ease with your own vulnerability is a process - one that you have to explore and is individual to yourself. However, there are actions that you should consider which can help you;

1 Be curious and understand what being vulnerable means to you

Take time to explore your own innermost fears, feelings and thoughts. I find that writing them down is a powerful and liberating method of exploring your innermost self. I use journalling as a way of doing this.

2 Get used to being outside your comfort zone

This is when you are vulnerable - anything that involves moving into areas beyond your normal routines; eg. doing new job roles, sports, going to new places, starting new hobbies - these are all examples of moving out of your comfort zone as it involves change and that is something many people find uncomfortable and vulnerable. However, the more often we venture out of our comfort zones, the easier it becomes to do and so we will feel less vulnerable.

3 Share your innermost feelings

If you have a close or trusted circle of friends, this is a safe place to share your innermost feelings and concerns. If part of being vulnerable is being afraid to express your innermost concerns/feelings, then being able to do so with your close circle of friends removes that fear. There is also less risk attached to talking to your close circle as they are much less likely to judge you and more likely to accept you for who you are.

Final Words

It takes courage and strength to be vulnerable. Importantly, it enables you to make meaningful changes - based on truth and reality. It's also an important element for personal growth and it definitely makes you much more resilient!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic - please email me at

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